The Dinner Club - The Gathering

Hello and I am back from a five month hiatus.  But a lot has happened and over the next month I will be gradually sharing what has happened over those months. Just to give you a sample.  I have been working on various projects and one of them was a 2013 Calendar with my photographs.   

It was May 4^th, 2012.  I was invited to a dinner with some mutual friend.   Apparently while on a trip.  My friend and his girlfriend were on the hunt for tiramisu.  She came up with an idea of having some of their closest friends to meet up for dinner.  Thus was born, “The Dinner Club”.  What I would like to call – “The Gathering”.  

 The Gathering

The dinner it was held on the 4^th of May.   Well most of the group is in the IT industry.  The theme was, “May the 4^th Be With You”.   It was Lebanese cuisine.   I was surrounded with good people and met some new people as well.   I never experienced this type of friendship.  I have heard of people in my life talk about it.  Saw it in the movies and television shows but not in my personal life until now.

The next one would take us into the middle of the Stampede Week. For those who don’t know it.  Stampede is the one of the largest Outdoor shows in North America.  If you get a chance, Google it.  It was decided we would gather later in July.  The next placed was a wine bar.  It was a great meal and the wine was wonderful.  

 Great moments shared

I share with you this because it show how one idea can bring a group of people together.  It allows other to go and join in the experience.  I have thought work shared this concept with clients I talked to.  I ask them, “Are you ready for the weekend or is the weekend ready for you.  The question is, are you ready?” Then they would share what they had planned.  In turn, I share my weekend. 

After I tell them what I have planned.  They are amazed and I seem to have fun.  I tell them that we are the, “Architect of our own design.  If you have a bad day or weekend, they chose to have it.  How we decide to let things get to us is by our own design.  

 Catching up and reconnecting

They hear this and they say they agree and love the attitude.  What I enjoy about the Dinner Club I am with.  Are the people.  They are professionals in their industry.  As a group, I have a wealth of knowledge to tap into.  The majority of them are in their forties plus.

Their knowledge and experience is invaluable.  I have benefited a great deal from being with these great folks.  I am grateful and thankful for them allowing me to be a part of their journey.  For they are a part of mine.  

 Moments made into wonderful memories

Great moments are made from great opportunities…….

I can’t recall where I heard this quote, I was moved by what it was being said.  In our lives we are filled will many moments.  Some are wonderful and then there are those we would sure like to forget.  I am reminded of the song George Strait “The Breath You Take”.  This was very touching.

“You just might miss the point
If ya don't slow down the pace
Life's not the breaths you take
But the moments that take your breath away”

These lyrics are very true.  It is the moments that take your breath away.  We spend too much time rush, rush, and go, go.  Our time here is only for so long.  The sum of our lives is comprised of the moments we have.  When I was in Nova Scotia, I was witness to a way of life there that was very different from what I had come to know in Calgary.  

 

 Moments Shared

It was like another time and place.  It was like time had stopped.  The pace of people there was the opposite of what we have in Calgary.  During my stay there was filled with many moments.  What are your moments?  Life is meant to be enjoyed and what I saw while on my trip to Nova Scotia. They were living life.  

Talk about moments.  Last night I was with an amazing group of people.  We get together on the first Friday of the month.   The person from the last dinner who wins the game of the evening gets to choose the next place to dine at.
  

Dinner with friends

Our moments are personal and sometimes not so much.  But in the end, they are our own.  Moments are a part of how we grow or shrink.  Like a plant, it grows from what it is exposed to.  As are we exposed to moments that come into our lives.  They shape us as I had spoken about in "Choice" It Has the Power To Shape Our Reality."

Moments in our lives are captured in photographs and shared memories. Opportunities are present when a moment arises.   Bruce Lee said, ”You have to create your own luck.  You have to be aware of the opportunities around you and take advantage of them.”

 Wedding

Opportunities are moments and together create our realities to some extent.  Life gives us to participate in other people and their moments.  I have found from writing this and other postings.  Several moments that are filled with learning, growing and becoming a better person.  

 Creating moments

In our lives, moments are like chess pieces to some degree.  Each move you make with your moments, changes the end result.  However, because it is your life, you are constantly moving.  Each move you make reacts and creates ripples into your future.  The moments we have are what makes the lives we have unfold.   

Chess Pieces 

A Mentor Is Like A Compass

I would recommend any one who wants to improve themselves to get a mentor.  They are not there to be a friend but keep you on track.  Their purpose is to guide you to where you set your milestones and achieve your goals.

Just like a compass helps sea captains navigate through the seven seas.  Your "Mentor", will assist you in navigating through the deep waters of your life.  More importantly, your life.  Most successful people have a mentor and some even have more than just one.

 The Mentor

Mentors can be used for various aspects of your life.  It depends what you want to work on. There are fitness coach can be considered as a mentor.  Their focus is your success.  Personally, I am thankful for my two mentors.  They have been instrumental in paving the road to my success.  They are my "Life Compass".  Should I ever veer off course, they are there to bring my back on track.

Understand that a Mentor is someone who you are choosing to to guide you.  Both my mentors have mentors themselves.   "Lead by Example", is what is called.  I do my best to practice what I write.  If I can over come these hurdles.  Then you can also achieve greatness.  It is possible to succeed.  You have to choose. 

 "Lead by Example"

Not all mentors are equal either. There are mentors out there that claim to be success full and they are not.  You need to do you own "Do Diligence".  They can make things instead of better, they can get worse.  Just like any investment.  Do your homework, check out their history.  Have them give you referrals.  It is your life and therefore, your responsibility to take ownership of your path.

"Do your homework."

Your mentor makes your accountable for completing your milestones that lead to your goals.  I am very fortunate that I two phenomenally, amazing, and talented mentors.  They both are happily married, successful in their own right and own their homes.  I wanted a mentor because I wanted more for myself.  My mentors keep me on track and encourage me to learn more. 

I encourage you all to find your mentor.  I needed a compass to guide me through the forest of doubt, fear and low self esteem.  Find your "Life Compass".  It will change your life. 

"Life Compass"

Let the Flame of Faith Bring Light to the Shadows of Fear

 Battle between the “Light” and “Dark”

There is always the ongoing battle between the “Light” and “Dark”.  But having faith in yourself is a strength that creates a light that shines through the Shadows of Fear. It is the fear that holds us back from discovering are true potential.  Fear is found in Horror movie, stories, and nightmares.  But it is in our daily lives.  How we choose to deal with it.  If we let Fear run our lives, we become slaves to it. 

 

We all handle fear differently.  Fear is an emotional.  That is all that it is.  Until we give into it.  Then we give it the power to control and dictate how our lives are going to become.  It is our lack of faith in ourselves that allows Fear to slip in and place a blind fold on our potential.   It is time to remove that blindfold and let out the person who we truly can become. 

"It is time to remove that blindfold"

I can say from personal experience. I have removed the blind fold that Fear placed on me and I see things differently.  The faith I have found in myself has enabled me to do the many things that I didn’t think I was capable to doing.  I have accomplished a lot over the past 3 and half months.  I over came my insecurities and realizing that I didn’t give myself enough credit.  

My mentor invited me to a leadership conference this weekend.  What made this one of particular interest is of the speaker.  John C. Maxwell was the guest speaker and my mentor knew he was someone who I admired.  Goes back to what I was saying earlier how facing ones fears.  It unlocks and lets opportunities to come to you.  

  "It unlocks and lets opportunities to come to you."

The moment I faced my insecurities and took away the fear that was binding me.  I no long fear of failing because it is a lesson to grown and become better.  Fear caused me to mask my insecurities with portraying to be more than what I was.  Finding the faith in myself has caused me to become more the person who I am now.  

 Fear Binds Our Potential

I am thankful for the people I have surrounded myself with.  I have learned that I need to take care of me of myself.  Fear had me convinced that I needed emotional security and is robbed me of building my financial security.  Fear was taking me away from being financial responsible.  With my new Faith in place, I have that financial security.  

"Financial Security verses Emotional Security"

By taking action against my fears and looking after myself.  I am now capable to taking care of others.  I feel that for years my head was in disillusion.  My feet are planted firmly in the “Ground of Reality”.  When a plant is in strong healthy soil, things grow and bloom to their potential.  Realizing how much I have lost due to allowing Fear rule my life.  I have taking control and removed Fear from the driver seat.  

My feet are planted firmly in the “Ground of Reality”

I have broken the chains of Doubt and low self esteem.  People have seen the change in me.  Since I have Faith in myself, others are impacted and have been inspired to make the shift for themselves.  My new life is filled with meeting new people and I am doing more with my life.  The person who I was two and half months ago is gone.  I use to pan for gold when I was a kid.  It was fun.  What I have gone through the past few months is like panning for gold.  With each swish of water to remove the gravel and you keep doing it until you discover the gold flakes.  That’s exciting. 

Broken the Chains of Doubt and Low Self Esteem

The gravel was the fears I had and when I washed them away the end result was being free of the Bonds of Fear.   I have taken back my power from Fear.    Life will change for you and you will discover there is so much you can accomplished on your own.   I have found by having faith in myself. The life I have now is the direct result of confronting the fear I had.  

I encourage you to “Live” and not “Survive”.  Your life is your own.  Fear will tell you what you can’t do or what you can become.   Have faith in yourself.  The Fear will lose its hold on you.   Take back what is yours and that is your Power.   Let the Flame of Faith Bring Light to the Shadows of Fear.  

"Have faith in yourself"

With Great Loss, Comes Great Rewards

About a couple months ago I had what I named "The Event".  For me it was a great emotional loss.  It was the most I had ever cared for someone or as strongly.  They felt that they could not give back and were broken.  It was only sometime later. I found out what they told me and what was said to others was totally different.

The accidental phone call that came from their cell.  Where I could her them laughing and the sounds of a night club.  It was then it dawned on me that a week prior they were devastated and upset.  It sure didn't seem that way from what I heard.  It hurt very deeply.  Here I was laying in bed heart broken and they are out acting like they were not even upset.

Further communication came in the form of texts.  They needed something back and came off as being sincere but when they were upset and stress. I gave comfort and they thanked me but said stop.  Then said I wanted to extend positive energy and they said they hated it.  That also caused hurt.  I made the misjudgement on bringing attention to a photo on my Facebook page.

It prompted the most hurtful text I have ever gotten.  But what they texted and the words they chose to use. Made me realize many things.  It motivated me to prioritize my goals.   It was clear and I got their message.  Did not realize the next two months my life would change forever.  My best friend told me to live better than I did before.  There may come a day you will cross paths and your new life. The better life you have made for yourself.

Their fears, insecurities, coupled with the paranoia they have. They chose to end the relationship.  I knew some of their past and accepted it. My naivety of thinking love and affection will mend the emotional and mental abuse they encountered would be enough.  I was wrong.  I sought emotional security and it is not same as financial security.

I now found my frequency.  My focus is wealth and not women.  Sure I will go out. But as for relationships at this point in my life not now.  Since the change it has prompted me to face reality.  Things are getting better, better and incredibility better.  For example, I have only one major responsibility.  I get to meet someone whom I admire and have several of his books.  I get to meet them face to face. It is John C Maxwell.

There is more, but lets say since I faced my fears by taking action.  My life have improved.  These and more are what I would consider, "Great Rewards".  I have face my insecurities and realized that I was placing limitations on myself.  I have removed those limitations and now my life is changing and growing.  With great loss, comes great rewards.

I have done more in the past two months than I have done in  the last year.  I found that my photography is liked and those who have seen it have suggested I should pursue it.  I have made arrangements to show case them.  I have gone back singing and have built a place to call home for singing.  I recommend everyone to face their fears and conquer them.   The rewards are in measurable and priceless.

Difference Between Being "Wanted" and "Needed"

 BEING NEEDED                 BEING WANTED

                                         

Wanted: Desired or wished for or sought.


Needed: Necessary for relief or supply.



I was pondering on whether I was qualified to write about this.  To be wanted is a natural feeling.  It is something that even when we were children it is a part of being accepted. Being wanted is instilled as children and later as adults.  But the feeling of being needed.  Is also a part of our lives.  If have found that as much as we "want", we "need".   It seems to be to some degree  and philosophers have found to be a very fine line. 


But rest assured, I feel I could share the same feeling and say, as much we want, we need also.  How even the desire of "want" is strong and in intoxicating.  Need has the same great power to motivate us to do things we normally would not do.  Our world is filled with both wants and needs every day.  It how we allow them to control our lives.  Some give in to their wants or needs.  Others, feel the opposite.  We are meant to be needed and wanted.

  "We are meant to be needed and wanted."

I had discovered that I was in a situation where I was more focused on wanting the relationship more than the person I was with at the time did.  The "Event" had given me the moment to face reality and what was really important.  My priorities changed.  As has my way of thinking. This caused my reality to change as a result.  Now, that I am on a different direction. Things have gotten only better, better and incredibly better. I understand that I need someone and that I want to share my life with someone who shares the same thoughts and feelings.

I had realized that I am in touch with my emotions and that is rare for a guy to have that.  It makes you more understanding when it matters most.  But sometimes it can back fire.  It had for me because I become emotionally attached easily.  Which can appear to be very needy. In reality, just someone who is very affectionate.  To me that is what the difference between being "Wanted" and "Needed".  I know that I want to feel needed and need to be wanted.  It is only natural. 

"It is only natural."

How Influence Creates Inspiration

I woke up to find I had a text message from a friend.  The day before we spent most of the good part of the day together and we talked about various things. But what was inspiring was the message that I had inspired her to write on her blog.  

She wrote what was inspired by me.  They asked me to check it out what they wrote.  I went to her blog to read what she had written.  I was totally impressed and amazed as to what she wrote.  It was filled with great insightful words and thoughts.  

Start your inspiration next exit

I was honored by what she was written and what inspired her to write about.  I now have seen a part of them that is unique and very talented.  The points she made with the words she chose had spelled out the words GORD.  That was a wonderful gift to receive from her.  I was very thankful and felt honored. 

 Inspiration creates ideas

Influence has two sides to it. There is a positive and negative impact.  I have talked about influence in other posts.  Such as, “Circle of Influence” and “Choice” It Has the Power To Shape Our Reality.”  From the time we are born to when we reach our old age.  Inspiration is created by what we are influenced.  Be it our environment or from our own experience.  

Influence 

No matter where it may have come from.  What matters is that it has caused inspiration to vision and make it a reality.  Some of history’s greatest thinkers and innovators were inspired and their discoveries have caused others to be inspired also.  

To name a few, Albert Einstein, Aristotle,  Leonardo da Vinci and so many more.  We have been influenced and those “Ripples of Inspiration”, continues to spread as it has for centuries.  It was from my friend’s influence from her blog.  That it inspired me to write this and share how influence creates inspiration. 

Listening Builds the Bridge of Understanding

Listening 

 

Listening is one of the most important skills one can have.  How well you listen has a major impact on your job efficiency, and on the quality of your relationships with others. 

We listen to acquire information.
We listen to comprehend.
We listen for pleasure.
We listen to learn.

Given all this listening we do, you would think we would find ourselves to be good at it!

In fact most of us are not. Depending on the study being quoted, we recall between 25% and 50% of what is heard. That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, clients or spouse for 10 minutes, they pay attention to less than half of the conversation. This is depressing!

Turn it around and it shows that when you are getting directions or being shown with information, you aren't hearing the whole message either. You hope the important parts are captured in your 25-50%, but what if they're not? 

Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you will not only improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. What's more, you'll prevent conflict and misunderstandings. All of these are necessary for workplace success!

Good communication skills need a high level of self-awareness. By understanding your personal style of communicating, you will go a long way towards creating good and lasting impressions with others.

The way to become a better listener is to work on our "active listening". This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, try to understand the complete message being sent. 

In order to do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully.  You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever else may be going on around you, or by forming counter arguments that you will create when the other person stops speaking. Nor can you let yourself to get bored, and lose focus on what the other person is talking about. All of these add to a lack of listening and understanding.

Suggestion: If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them – this will reinforce their message and help you stay focused.

To enhance your listening skills, you need to let the other person know that you are listening to what he or she is saying. To understand the importance of this, ask yourself if you've ever been engaged in a conversation when you wondered if the other person was listening to what you were saying.

 You wonder if your message is getting across, or if it's even worthwhile continuing to speak. It feels like talking to a brick wall and it's something you want to avoid. 

Acknowledgement can be something as simple as a nod of the head or a simple "uh huh." You aren't necessarily agreeing with the person, you are simply indicating that you are listening. Using body language and other signs to acknowledge you are listening also reminds you to pay attention and not let your mind wander.

You should also try to respond to the speaker in a way that will both encourage him or her to continue speaking, so that you can get the information if you need. While nodding and "uh huhing" says you're interested, an occasional question or comment to recap what has been said communicates that you understand the message as well. 

It takes a lot of awareness and willpower to be an active listener. Old habits are hard to break, and if the listening habits you have are as bad as many people's are, then there's a lot of habit-breaking to do to become a better communicator!

Be conscious with your listening and remind yourself regularly that your goal is to truly hear what the other person is saying to you. Set aside all other thoughts and behaviors and concentrate on the message. Be sure to ask questions, reflect, and paraphrase to ensure you realize the message. 

If you don't, then you'll find that what someone says to you and what you hear can be incredibly different!  Start using active listening today to become a better communicator, improve your environment such as your workplace productivity, and develop better relationships both personal and professional.