Difference Between Being "Wanted" and "Needed"

 BEING NEEDED                 BEING WANTED

                                         

Wanted: Desired or wished for or sought.


Needed: Necessary for relief or supply.



I was pondering on whether I was qualified to write about this.  To be wanted is a natural feeling.  It is something that even when we were children it is a part of being accepted. Being wanted is instilled as children and later as adults.  But the feeling of being needed.  Is also a part of our lives.  If have found that as much as we "want", we "need".   It seems to be to some degree  and philosophers have found to be a very fine line. 


But rest assured, I feel I could share the same feeling and say, as much we want, we need also.  How even the desire of "want" is strong and in intoxicating.  Need has the same great power to motivate us to do things we normally would not do.  Our world is filled with both wants and needs every day.  It how we allow them to control our lives.  Some give in to their wants or needs.  Others, feel the opposite.  We are meant to be needed and wanted.

  "We are meant to be needed and wanted."

I had discovered that I was in a situation where I was more focused on wanting the relationship more than the person I was with at the time did.  The "Event" had given me the moment to face reality and what was really important.  My priorities changed.  As has my way of thinking. This caused my reality to change as a result.  Now, that I am on a different direction. Things have gotten only better, better and incredibly better. I understand that I need someone and that I want to share my life with someone who shares the same thoughts and feelings.

I had realized that I am in touch with my emotions and that is rare for a guy to have that.  It makes you more understanding when it matters most.  But sometimes it can back fire.  It had for me because I become emotionally attached easily.  Which can appear to be very needy. In reality, just someone who is very affectionate.  To me that is what the difference between being "Wanted" and "Needed".  I know that I want to feel needed and need to be wanted.  It is only natural. 

"It is only natural."

How Influence Creates Inspiration

I woke up to find I had a text message from a friend.  The day before we spent most of the good part of the day together and we talked about various things. But what was inspiring was the message that I had inspired her to write on her blog.  

She wrote what was inspired by me.  They asked me to check it out what they wrote.  I went to her blog to read what she had written.  I was totally impressed and amazed as to what she wrote.  It was filled with great insightful words and thoughts.  

Start your inspiration next exit

I was honored by what she was written and what inspired her to write about.  I now have seen a part of them that is unique and very talented.  The points she made with the words she chose had spelled out the words GORD.  That was a wonderful gift to receive from her.  I was very thankful and felt honored. 

 Inspiration creates ideas

Influence has two sides to it. There is a positive and negative impact.  I have talked about influence in other posts.  Such as, “Circle of Influence” and “Choice” It Has the Power To Shape Our Reality.”  From the time we are born to when we reach our old age.  Inspiration is created by what we are influenced.  Be it our environment or from our own experience.  

Influence 

No matter where it may have come from.  What matters is that it has caused inspiration to vision and make it a reality.  Some of history’s greatest thinkers and innovators were inspired and their discoveries have caused others to be inspired also.  

To name a few, Albert Einstein, Aristotle,  Leonardo da Vinci and so many more.  We have been influenced and those “Ripples of Inspiration”, continues to spread as it has for centuries.  It was from my friend’s influence from her blog.  That it inspired me to write this and share how influence creates inspiration. 

Listening Builds the Bridge of Understanding

Listening 

 

Listening is one of the most important skills one can have.  How well you listen has a major impact on your job efficiency, and on the quality of your relationships with others. 

We listen to acquire information.
We listen to comprehend.
We listen for pleasure.
We listen to learn.

Given all this listening we do, you would think we would find ourselves to be good at it!

In fact most of us are not. Depending on the study being quoted, we recall between 25% and 50% of what is heard. That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, clients or spouse for 10 minutes, they pay attention to less than half of the conversation. This is depressing!

Turn it around and it shows that when you are getting directions or being shown with information, you aren't hearing the whole message either. You hope the important parts are captured in your 25-50%, but what if they're not? 

Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you will not only improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. What's more, you'll prevent conflict and misunderstandings. All of these are necessary for workplace success!

Good communication skills need a high level of self-awareness. By understanding your personal style of communicating, you will go a long way towards creating good and lasting impressions with others.

The way to become a better listener is to work on our "active listening". This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, try to understand the complete message being sent. 

In order to do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully.  You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever else may be going on around you, or by forming counter arguments that you will create when the other person stops speaking. Nor can you let yourself to get bored, and lose focus on what the other person is talking about. All of these add to a lack of listening and understanding.

Suggestion: If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say them – this will reinforce their message and help you stay focused.

To enhance your listening skills, you need to let the other person know that you are listening to what he or she is saying. To understand the importance of this, ask yourself if you've ever been engaged in a conversation when you wondered if the other person was listening to what you were saying.

 You wonder if your message is getting across, or if it's even worthwhile continuing to speak. It feels like talking to a brick wall and it's something you want to avoid. 

Acknowledgement can be something as simple as a nod of the head or a simple "uh huh." You aren't necessarily agreeing with the person, you are simply indicating that you are listening. Using body language and other signs to acknowledge you are listening also reminds you to pay attention and not let your mind wander.

You should also try to respond to the speaker in a way that will both encourage him or her to continue speaking, so that you can get the information if you need. While nodding and "uh huhing" says you're interested, an occasional question or comment to recap what has been said communicates that you understand the message as well. 

It takes a lot of awareness and willpower to be an active listener. Old habits are hard to break, and if the listening habits you have are as bad as many people's are, then there's a lot of habit-breaking to do to become a better communicator!

Be conscious with your listening and remind yourself regularly that your goal is to truly hear what the other person is saying to you. Set aside all other thoughts and behaviors and concentrate on the message. Be sure to ask questions, reflect, and paraphrase to ensure you realize the message. 

If you don't, then you'll find that what someone says to you and what you hear can be incredibly different!  Start using active listening today to become a better communicator, improve your environment such as your workplace productivity, and develop better relationships both personal and professional.

"Choice" It Has the Power To Shape Our Reality

"Choice,  It Has the Power To Shape Our Reality"

At one point of time in your life you played with play-dough.  It was fun to create new shapes that come from the thought in our mind.  Those thoughts are a “Choice”.

“Choice” impacts our lives and the lives of others.   It is from our choices that we make and they are great deal of them in a day.   They mold and set us forward or sometimes backward in our journey.  As I was saying earlier abut play-dough and how it creates what we imagine.

We use our hands and tools to sculpt the mound of play-dough that lies in front of us.  Just as the “Choice” we made will shape and smooth out the rough edges of our character.  Character being our habits, attitudes, and personality.  They are formed by our “Choice” we make. 

I have found from personal experiences of the choices I have made.  Some have been great and others not so much.  I really like what Jim Rohn said. 

“Reality begins with imagination.  Imagination is but a thought we create in our minds.  Create the reality your want and with the right action and discipline behind it.  Many things, wonderful things are possible.” 

Just like your Book of Life that tells your story.  Each page is written is from the choices we have made..  We are the story tellers of our journey.  We make it from the decisions we make. I think that this quote speaks volumes

“Our lives are books and each day is a page…we can’t erase what has already been written but we can always try to make the next page better” –unknown

Choice is used every day and effects everyone not just ourselves.  The choices we make now in the present. Causes the ripples and those ripples create our future.  It is our environments both professional and personal that are choices are influenced by.

 But in the end we are the Designers and Developers of our lives.  I encourage you to allow the choices you make lead you to your personal potential. Let the shaping begin.  

“Balance” It Makes A Difference In How We Live.

 

I have been reminded recently of the importance of continuing balance in my life.  There are times we can push ourselves sometimes too hard to get a goal and become almost obsessed while falling behind on our balance. It is very important in this life.  We have become focused maybe too much and driven to achieve one or many goals.  We run the risk neglecting other important parts of our lives and will likely see the waning of our spiritual, emotional and mental conditions.

Balance tends to be easier to sustain than to raise them back.  Once we get moving, we may just find it challenging to stop until we achieve our milestone.  Now, does this mean we must press on with no balance, getting more unhappy by the day because we just can’t stop until we reach our objective?  We could decide that path or take the path of spiritual and mental well-being always keeping them as our top priorities while still pursuing our goals.  

 
Certainly, it may take a bit longer to achieve our goals but we would undoubtedly enjoy the journey more if we maintained a balance in our lives of time involving with family, and friends, spiritual and mental practice, fun and relaxations. The hard part is to get off the crazy train and get back to our balance. Now how do we stop the craze? 

There is no easy, magical answer here. We just have to commit to it, the choice is yours to make. Do you want to be that person who will give up happiness and family, there are some who are raising children or time spent with a significant other or elderly parents because you have a goal to accomplish and you will only take it easy once you complete that goal? The problem with that is that you will be missing out on so much of what life has to give us.  

 Spiritual

You may forget and hurt those closest to you and you will not be spiritually and mentally healthy and happy.  There is a good possibility that when you’ve realize one goal you will just move right on the next and find yourself in the same position yet again.  The choice is yours. All we need is this moment.  Life is meant to be lived. You can’t turn over the hour glass of your Life.  I ask you do you want to find your balance?

Find your balance

Circle of Influence... What is Yours?

Influences come from many sources.  In this case, it is the people who we choose to surround ourselves with.  A friend of mine sent me a text saying, "You're smart, funny, kind, loving and worth so much to the people you choose to surround yourself with. Those are qualities you possess in yourself."

My "Circle of Influence" is small.  They are people who encourage, life and let me know no holds barred when I am doing something foolish or does not benefit me.  My circle is filled with those who I trust and I am able to learn, challenge and I grow from having them in my life.  Some are my peers and others are older but all are valued and have importance in my life. 

I am grateful to my "Circle of Influence" .  There have been times I didn't have answers even after I researched online or books.  Sometimes personal experience is more valuable than what is found in books.  It is interesting  how we could benefit from others if we just stopped and listened.  I know I have learned a great deal from others.

We need only people who contribute positively and want us to be all that we can be.  People who are negative don't serve as a benefit.  I had an experience where my "Circle of Influence" gave the wrong impression of what my character was.  Someone from when  I was in high school thought I smoked pot.  The people who I use to hung out with did. 

They assumed that I had.  They said had they took the time to get to know me things would be different.  It made me realize I needed to really pay attention to whom I have around me.  The people who are now my "Circle of Influence".  I have earned their trust as the have gained my trust. 

Chose wisely who you have in your "Circle of Influence".  We instinctively judge who a person is by how they are with.  I am have learned not to judge and give the person the chance to show me who they are.